Practice showing up for yourself.

Over and over again.



Those who grow up in dysfunctional and unsupportive environments often struggle with putting their foot down where necessary and doing what they need the most. ⁣


⁣In some way or the other, they’ve been told that it’s selfish, that their needs aren’t important, and in some cases, they don’t even know what it means to really show up for themselves. ⁣


⁣⁣Showing up for yourself simply means that you do the things you need to do in order to take good care of yourself, 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁. 

It’s Self-Care. It’s Self-Preservation. It’s Self-Devotion. All in a loving, compassionate, and self-honouring way that supports your healing and growth. ⁣

Sometimes this could look like being courageous and doing that one thing you’re afraid of, have been avoiding, and some days it looks like simply treating yourself because you deserve it. ⁣


Here are some ways you can show up for yourself this weekend:


1. Communicate assertively and clearly where needed.

2. Reaffirm loving things about yourself.

3. Say yes to things that inspire you.

4. Say no to people that are holding you back or to things that feel out of alignment.

5. Cook a meal for yourself.

6. Spend time alone. Read your favourite book, watch a movie, do some journaling, meditate or just take that luxurious bath with rose petals⁣.

7. Spend time with people who add value to your life. Be extremely picky! ⁣

8. Have that difficult conversation with your parents, partner, friends⁣, or colleagues. ⁣

9. Pause. Take a break. Allow yourself the rest you deserve. ⁣

10. Do the uncomfortable inner-work you’ve been avoiding⁣.

11. Choose pleasure over pressure.⁣

12. Eat that cake without guilt!⁣

13. Tend to & channel your inner child⁣.

14. Declutter - physically & digitally.

15. Seek help. Reach out. Go for therapy. Find a coach to work with⁣.



⁣(Manasi Dalvi)









Fucked-up people will try to 

tell you otherwise, but boundaries 

have nothing to do with whether 

you love someone or not. 

They are not judgments, 

punishments, or betrayals. 

They are a purely peaceable thing: 

the basic principles you identify 

for yourself that define the behaviors 

that you will tolerate from others, 

as well as the responses you 

will have to those behaviors. 

Boundaries teach people how to 

treat you, and they teach you 

how to respect yourself.


(Cheryl Strayed)









All feelings are only looking for a loving home, for mercy and protection.  

Feelings that have been resisted, pushed away, denied, banished, do not actually disappear; they live on in the darkness of the Unconscious, homeless and hungry for love, pulling the strings in our relationships, our bodies, our work in the world, getting in the way of our joy. Screaming for attention, deep down in the Underworld, they sap and drain our vitality and self-expression, cause us to become reactive, compulsive and obsessive, depressed and anxious, and ultimately affect our physical health... all in their attempt to get us to listen.

Until one day, we remember, all feelings are sacred and have a right to exist in us, even the messiest and most inconvenient and painful ones. And we remember to turn towards our feelings instead of running away. To soften into them. To make room for them instead of numbing them out or ignoring them.

These hungry ghosts, now fed with our love, our warm attention, our curiosity and Presence, now given a home in us, can finally come to rest. They no longer need to pull the strings in our lives. They now have the empathy they always longed for.

So much of our precious life force, our prana, our chi, our sacred energy, is spent on this Sisyphean task of pushing feelings away, trying to make them go 'somewhere else', but where would they go? For even the Underworld is within us. So much creativity is released, so much relief is felt, when we break this age-old pattern of self-abandonment, go beyond our fearful conditioning, and try something totally new: staying close to feelings, not pushing them away, as they emerge in the freshness of the moment, looking for their true home - which is our own hearts. 

I am eternally grateful to the gods of the Underworld for keeping my feelings safe until I was ready to feel them, for protecting me from what I was not yet ready to protect. 


(Jeff Foster)









No matter how great your 

childhood might have been, 

if you’re alive today

you’ve experienced trauma.




Let me explain... ⁣

We live in an inherently traumatising, sick society which frankly is not designed to suit or nourish the human spirit.

We live in an emotional dark age where less than a hundred years ago it was acceptable and encouraged to not tell your children you loved them (let alone that women should be submissive to men or that people of colour are second class humans, or that disabled people should be aborted or locked away, or that gay/transgender people are abominations) (and let’s acknowledge the sad truth that a lot of these things haven’t changed…).

Most of our grand-parents or great-grandparents lived through two world wars - ancestrally passed down trauma is a very real thing (which applies to my second point as well).

From a very young age you are bombarded with media that subliminally tells you you’re not good enough as you are.

It’s still the norm to punish ‘bad’ behaviour and reward ‘good’ behaviour (like a dog) as if any child is actually ‘bad’ which creates a self concept around needing to ‘be good’ (familial and societal projection) in order to get love, internalising the belief that love is conditional and you are not inherently deserving or able to receive unconditional love. ⁣

And this is only just the beginning... never mind the catastrophe that is 2020...⁣

It is traumatic to not have our deepest needs met - that being the need we can’t fully acknowledge because we have learnt we can’t have it: the need for unconditional love; to be seen and valued for who we are; to know that we are good enough and worthy just for Being. ⁣

We need to wake up to the reality of the great spectrum of trauma that is so insidious it’s actually become normalised.

What we need to normalise is talking about trauma and seeing it for what it is; wake up from our collective apathy and realise we can each make a difference to change things if we are willing to engage with reality as is; only then can we actually create a new reality in which our Being, Spirit and Soul is truly nourished. ⁣

With love and compassion for the pain that can come with seeing our trauma clearly.

(Zannah Merricks)









Relax wild one. 

It’s not your job 

to be everything 

everyone needs, 

and you don’t have 

to be impressive 

to be loved. 

Stop trying so hard. 

Just show up… 

and be real 

with the world. 

That is enough.


(Brooke Hampton)









Two thoughts on stillness:


1. Stillness is terrifying because it 

reveals to us what we’ve been too 

afraid to look at.


2. Stillness is beautiful because it

reveals to us what we’ve been too

afraid to look at.


(Lisa Olivera)









Today someone will begin their journey 

of doing inner child work and reconnect

with their inner child. 

That reunion will begin healing their history. 

So today, a child will be rescued.

What a beautiful thought.



There’s been a huge movement the last few years in inner child work. Today someone will enter that arena, and do the brave work to have a conversation with their inner child.


They will understand for the first time that that child has carried much of the burdens that was placed on them, and has desperately waited to be rescued out of those circumstances. That rescue, will change everything. It will connect the adult with their inner child, and provide new life lines for survival, and intimate growth.


It’s common to delay this reunion. We have long been separated from what our inner child has carried. Know this, they’ve done the best they can to survive. Much of your anxiety and fear is connected to their untold stories. Much of your hunger for deeper connection, can be satisfied with your connection to them. The inner child is not looking to harm, scar, or scare you. They simply want to be rescued, and are expressing that the best way they know how.


That rescue will connect parts of you that calm the world around you. You will exhale and know that you’ve been someone’s hero today.


That’s a beautiful thought, and that’s where I will focus my attention.


Sending so much love, encouragement, support and peace to the people doing inner child work today. Life as they know it, will never be the same… In the best way.


(Nate Postlethwait)









Please, just let love in. Tell people how you feel, and do not worry about being too much. Be too much. Care too much. Let people show up for you. Let people remind you that there is goodness in this world. Be vulnerable, do not be afraid of what you feel. Try to find the beauty in each breakdown, try to move forward and let go; try to learn and believe in new beginnings despite what you have been through. Kiss the faces of your friends, hug their broken pieces back together, laugh loudly and hope loudly and live loudly and be gentle with yourself, be gentle with your healing. Connect, connect, connect - with every ounce of who you are, with every inch of your patchwork heart. Connect with the people who make you feel deeply. Connect with the moments that bring tears to your eyes. Connect with the things that make your hands shake, embrace the things that make you aware of just how lucky you are to be alive. Please, just connect - because beautiful things are vanishing each and every day. Do not let your heart become one of them. 


(Bianca Sparacino)










distracts us from


- Figuring out whether we’re truly happy.

- Feeling lonely.

- Having the tough conversations.

- The discontent that we carry deep inside.

- The things that we want to ask for but don’t.

- The memories that we can’t talk about.

- The heaviness of living in this world.


(Lee McKay Doe)










Be confused, it’s where you 

begin to learn new things. 

Be broken, it’s where you 

begin to heal. 

Be frustrated, it’s where you start 

to make more authentic decisions. 

Be sad, because if we are 

brave enough we can hear our 

heart’s wisdom through it.

Be whatever you are right now. 

No more hiding. 

You are worthy, always. 


(S.C Lourie)









12 Steps to Self Care


1. If it feels wrong, don‘t do it.

2. Say exactly what you mean.

3. Don‘t be a people pleaser.

4. Trust your instincts.

5. Never speak bad about yourself.

6. Never give up on your dreams.

7. Don‘t be afraid to say no.

8. Don‘t be afraid to say yes.

9. Be kind to yourself.

10. Let go of what you can‘t control.

11. Stay away from drama and negativity. 

12. Love.


(Izey Victoria Odiase)









Healing is a co-creative process

… no shaman or medical doctor,

healer or therapist, herbal remedy

or manufactured drug can heal you

on its own. 

For healing to occur, there must 

always be a part of you, even if

it’s completely unconscious, 

that elects to participate.


(Deborah King)








Dealing with ‘Inconsistent’ People:


You have to make them value your presence 

by bringing as much value and positive energy 

as possible. And if they don’t, then you must 

honor yourself, set a clear and defined boundary, 

and introduce them to your absence. 

Put your energy with people who truly value you 

and avoid those who don’t.


(Sylvester McNutt)










To be beautiful means to be yourself. 

You don’t need to be accepted by others. 

You need to accept yourself. 

When you are born a lotus flower, 

be a beautiful lotus flower, 

don’t try to be a magnolia flower. 

If you crave acceptance and recognition 

and try to change yourself to fit 

what other people want you to be, 

you will suffer all your life. 

True happiness and true power 

lie in understanding yourself, 

accepting yourself, having 

confidence in yourself.


(Thich Nhat Hanh)









You can be the ripest, juiciest peach 

in the world, and there's still going to be 

somebody who hates peaches.


(Dita Von Teese)









Questions to Begin Understanding

Your Inner Child


1. When I felt scared or hurt, how did 

a parent address my emotions?


2. When something "big“ happened in 

my home, was there open communication?


3. What messages did I get around 

who I was or who I was supposed to be?


4. What activities or actions did I take part in

to receive love or approval?


5. Were there secrets/things we didn’t speak

about/or things we hid from the public?


6. Did I feel free to be myself or did I fear

reactions and walk on eggshells?


(Dr. Nicole LePera)









This world is not made of shades of grey. 

It is made of colours like azure and coral 

and emerald and marigold. 

But it insists on painting everything 

in black and white and fitting it 

into boxes that it understands. 

Do not do that to yourself. 

Paint your personality a million 

different colours. 

Leave them scratching their heads, 

unsure of how to handle 

the magic that you are.


(Nikita Gill)









We are so afraid to change careers, 

to end relationships, to outgrow people 

or places - and that's just growth. 

To me, choosing to go toward the 

cracking in order to keep expanding 

is the only way. The only way to 

get out of pain is to go through it. 

Pain is information.


(Sophia Bush)









The reality is, you could be amazing, 

genuine, and sincere, but 

still be overlooked. 

But honestly, people don’t want 

something real anymore, 

they just want reasons to complain 

and excuses to avoid. 

Having a good thing is so hard 

because meeting a strong person 

is so rare. So I’ve learned to respect 

when people run from me, 

I realize my kind of love 

ain’t for everybody. 

I’m at peace with that.


(Rob Hill Sr.)









I cannot always sparkle.

I cannot always roar.

Sometimes, I need 

to breathe slowly.

To sit down inside 

the lace-like scraps

of my vulnerability and

whisper sweet poems 

to my soul.

There’s incredible power

in my tenderness, 

in my softness, in the 

saltiness of my tears.

There is fierce beauty

in the shaky pulses of 

my very human heart.


(Sarah L. Harvey)









What if 2020 isn't canceled?

What if 2020 is the year 

we’ve been waiting for? ⁣

A year so uncomfortable, 

so painful, so scary, so raw - 

that it finally forces us to grow.

A year that screams so loud, 

finally awakening us from 

our ignorant slumber.⁣ 

A year we finally accept 

the need for change.⁣

Declare change. Work for change. 

Become the change.

A year we finally band together, 

instead of⁣ pushing each other 

further apart.⁣⁣ 


2020 isn’t canceled, but rather 

⁣the most important year of them all.


(Leslie Dwight)









Dear One


As children, 

we may not 

have understood 

that we were 

being brainwashed 

to think, feel, and 

behave like our parents.


(Lisa A. Romano)










No apologizing today,

darling, for who you are,

for how you see life,

for how you breathe.

No hiding either.

No shame. Just be you.

The world will 

catch up with

your fire eventually.


(Brooke Hampton)









As Bessel van der Kolk writes: "Trauma, 

by definition, is unbearable and intolerable".

You are not weak not are you worthless for

struggling to cope with your trauma.

The hidden gems of healing from your trauma

are deep within and exploring a traumatic 

past is far from simple. In fact, it may be

one of the most difficult experiences

you go through, aside from the trauma itself.

Give yourself spacious room to be a human:

a human who is limited in their ability to be 

their best during some of their worst times.

You are a human by nature and it’s natural

to struggle with things as difficult as trauma.

You’re strong and you will get through this.


(Dr. Courtney Tracy)









It’s up to you - it’s always up to you. You can deny, repress, distort, and bury your unresolved wounds all you want. You can re-frame them, pseudo-positivity them, detach from them, bypass them. You can re-name yourself, hide away in a monastery, turn your story around. And you can spend all your money on superficial healing practices and hocus-pocus practitioners. But it won’t mean a damn thing, if you don’t do the deeper work to excavate and heal your primary wounds. The material is still there, right where you left it, subconsciously ruling your life and controlling your choices. This is the nature of unhealed material - it is alive, and one way or the other, it will manifest itself in your lived experience. It will language your inner narrative. It will obstruct your path and limit your possibilities. It lives everywhere that you live. And so you have to decide - excavate it and bring it into consciousness where it can be worked through and integrated; or repress it and watch it rule your life. It’s one of the hardest truths we have to face: If we don’t deal with our stuff, it deals with us. There is no way around this. Choose. 


(Jeff Brown)









You can’t be an important 

and life-changing presence 

for some people without 

also being a joke and an

embarrassment to others.


(Mark Manson) 




Book recommendation: 

"The Subtle Art of Not

Giving a Fuck".









If you have to shrink who you are

or compromise your wellbeing

in order to maintain a relationship,

that person doesn’t deserve you.


The right people will respect

the boundaries you set.

They might be disappointed.

They might not like it.

But they won’t put you down,

guilt you, or manipulate you

into changing your no into a yes.

The right people want you to 

take care of yourself. 

They want you to be honest

about your needs.


(Daniell Koepke)









Maybe when the world

is brought to its knees,

is when we start giving

less f*cks about anything

that doesn’t really matter.


(Simi Fromen)









When you dare to walk

a wild and unconventional path,

you trigger other people’s insecurities.

You make them call into question 

their own lives and decisions.

THAT’S why they don’t support you:

you are blazing a path they

were incapable of walking.

And that makes them feel inadequate.


(Aletheia Luna)











Every now and again, and more often

than not, disconnect. Disconnect from

everything that doesn’t light a fire in

your soul. Set down your phone, 

shut off your computer, tuck away

your planner, and reconnect with 

everything that does light a fire

in your soul. Spend time in nature

to reacquaint yourself with the 

towering trees, the soft grass, and

the mirroring lakes. Spend time with

the ones you love without distraction.

Be with them with only intention of 

simply being present with them.

Spend time reading or painting,

walking or dancing - the things that

slow down time for you and allow

you to reconnect.


(Nikki Banas)












An emotional emptiness where you question

if this is all there is. Complete confusion, 

pain, and frustration with life.



An awareness that you have an 

ego (voice in your head) and childhood 

conditioning that has you living within

behavioral patterns that no longer

serve you.



A pull inwards. To spend time alone 

in reflection. Questioning everything you’ve

been told. A pull to learn all you can and 

avoid small talk, chaos, and draining

interactions. The beginning of the birth

of the true self.



With expanded consciousness, you experience 

what it is to access choice beyond ego.

You’ll be pulled to show others how to do

the same which creates a ripple effect

of awakening.


(Dr. Nicole LePera)